Rooms on Fire
by LuvBolt
Summary: Manny keeps the baby, Craig's starting to show signs of bi-polar, Manny has baby blues and the band is slowly starting to fall apart. Will things ever be normal again? Chap 8 up!
1. Chapter 1

**The dance was kind of boring. I walked around looking around. It really did have an 80's feel with all the kids dressed up. I smiled to myself, munching on a nacho cheese chip. **

"**Hey, hey it's Mr. Manning. Fronting the British Pride." Said Simpson, walking up to me. I turned around.**

"**Oh--hi--Mr. Simpson." I said with a nod. It was still weird to think of him as being my stepfather's friend. Really weird. **

**Mr. Simpson smiles and motions towards my hat. "Now this? Brings back old memories." He said, taking the hat from me. "Joey used to wear this thing so much I thought it was permanently plaster-castered to his big ol' cranium."**

**I laughed at that. Mr. Simpson must be in a good mood. Maybe it was all the 80's cheese music going on. It did that to old people.**

"**So, why aren't you dancing?" Mr. Simpson asked. He was doing these really random dance movements to Loverboy's Working for the Weekend. Yes, I know my 80's music. I blame this recent development entirely on my stepfather. He listens to it and reminisces about his high school band, The Zits. God if I hear "Everybody wants Some" one more time I'm going to scream I think. **

**At Mr. Simpson's question, I sort of shrug. "I dunno. Resting. You know."**

"**Ahh." He nodded at me like it was some secret guy code. "I get it. You're waiting for the right girl, right?"**

**I shook my head. Simpson can be a real dork sometimes. Like now. "Yeah, Mr. Simpson. I'm waiting for the right girl." **

**Some students came up to him then, asking about a picture of the Zits. Mr. Simpson pulled them to the poster. I shook my head and dispersed into the crowd. **

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"**Craig!"**

**I heard someone call me and I turned. There they were, Emma and Manny. They were crouching low, out of Raditch's site more than likely. I had to grin. Emma looked like her mom with her hair all poofed out and Manny?**

**She looked cute. I couldn't think of who she was dressed as. **

"**Look!" I exclaimed. "Valley girls!" I surveyed them both, eyes resting on Manny. "What are you doing here?"**

**Emma wagged me to come over. So I did. Manny spoke first. "We want to crash the dance."**

"**Cool." **

"**But we need your help." Implored Emma. She gave me a "come on, please?" sort of look. **

**I glanced over my shoulder spying Mr. Radditch. "Meet me at the east door, 10 minutes."**

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**I ran down the hallway to the east door. This was the most excitement I'd had in a long while. It felt good to do something sneaky and deceitful. I felt like I'd been way too good recently. **

"**This is so exciting I could burst!" Manny exclaimed in her girly voice. I smiled over at her. She was a cutie. This could be an interesting night. **

"**Manny, shh!" Emma hissed at her. **

**Pulling my eyes from Manny's I nodded. "Keep your heads down ok? If Radditch catches us, we're busted!"**

**We peered up and saw Radditch. Ducking down, I exhaled a breath. I realized despite being so crammed together I was very close to Manny. She smelled good, something fruity. I wondered what it would be like to kiss her. She caught me looking and smiled brightly. **

**I also wondered how old she was. I know we were only a year apart, but a year could be a lot. She didn't seem silly and vain, not like that Paige chick was. She seemed cool. **

**I jumped up, looked around. No Radditch in sight. "Come on!" I motion to my valley girls to follow me. Manny let out one of her little squeals that I thought adorable and lead them to the gym. **

**I opened the door for the girls and they rushed in. I followed behind. "We did it!" Emma exclaimed, looking stunned. "We're in."**

"**The seniors dance. The most fun ever." Manny said with a shake of her head. I watch them watch the dance. I guess when you're used to your dances being at 2.30 in the afternoon instead of at 7, it is kind of exciting. **

**Manny's got pretty eyes. Dark, like chocolate. She's gazing at me, full of smiles. Emma's looking at me too. Her eyes are also pretty, in that clear sky kind of way. It's predictable though, and it was Manny I wanted. I tipped my hat to the girls and meandered back into the crowd. **

**I bypass some kids in my class who say hi. I walk right past the Goth girl, Ashley who was with that model, Terri. They looked sulky. I never took my eyes off Manny. Drawing in a deep breath, I walked over to Manny. I was gonna do it, I was gonna ask her to dance. **

"**Hey Craig!" Emma chirped. Her bright blue eyes were zoned in on me and I flicked my gaze to her.**

"**Emma, Manny." I smiled. "You uh, having fun?"**

**Emma nodded. "Yeah."**

"**I haven't had this much fun. Ever." Said Manny with a little laugh. She was watching all the other kids dance. **

**Oh god, I hated small talk. My palms were starting to sweat and I wiped them on my jeans. "Great." I flashed the girls a smile and trained my gaze back to Manny. **

"**So. Uh, Manny. You wanna dance?"**

**I had to love the look of surprise and shock that skittered across her face. Her mouth opened a little and…it was just so priceless, so adorable. **

"**Me?" She squeaked, making me like her even more. **

"**Yeah. You two go dance." Said Emma, making me think something was wrong. She practically pushed Manny towards me. Manny stood there, and then looked up at me. **

**I held out my hand and she gripped it. I took her across the dance floor as a slow song started up.**

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**It would be a little bit later when I would have my next encounter with Manny Santos. I did walk her home the night of the 80's dance. We'd pretty much walked in silence. I didn't know what to do. I'd never walked a girl home before. **

"**Craig, I--I like you!" Manny blurted, her eyes going wide. **

**I smiled. **

**She looked mortified. "I can't believe I just said that."**

**I laughed. It was time to admit my feelings. "It's ok--I like you too." I assured her. **

**She let out this little squeal and I had to smile. Her face turned pink. "Oh, I'm such a ditz!" Her hand clapped over her face, the mortified look coming back.**

"**No--no, it was cute." I laughed. A girl asking me out. Well, this was something new and I kind of liked it. I leaned against the locker, watching Manny.**

"**So, Craig. Tonight. Wanna catch a movie? At the mall?"**

**I smiled at Manny. Did she know she was adorable? "With you?" I waited a moment, making myself frown. Giving a shrug, I eyed her. "I dunno."**

**Manny's face was priceless. "Kidding!" I exclaimed. **

**She let out a broken laugh, looking relieved. "OK, you so had me there."**

"**I couldn't resist."**

"**Pick me up at Emma's house. Around 8?" Manny backed away, smiling at me the whole time. **

**Nothing could go wrong, I thought. I didn't know how wrong things could go. How wrong they could be.**


	2. Chapter 2

-1Note; I don't know why is bolding my fiction. It's annoying me.

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The date. The date with Manny had been a complete disaster. I couldn't really wrap my head around why it had been a disaster, I just knew it was one. Sure, she looked amazing in her jeans, her hair swept up and sticking out elegantly, but…

The maturity.

She reminded me of Ange, jumping around and talking about her stuffed animals. I thought to myself, nobody in my grade talks about their stuffed animals. It made me wonder if Ashley had any stuffed animals, though I doubted it. I kept checking my watch and she finally noticed.

"Oh, I'm talking to much again."

"No, no." I waved her off. It wasn't that…not exactly…I mean she did babble constantly. She had wanted to go to the carnival instead of the movie. Ok, sure. She looked at those crazy mirrors that always made me feel half sick, then whacked me in the head with a softball.

Some date.

Spinner and Jimmy laughed at me when I told them about it. Spin was going on about how hot Manny was--and I didn't disagree with him. She was. She just wasn't very…

Mature.

I knew I had to end it. I had to end it before it got worse. I was going to do this today, but Manny…_god_. The way she decorated my locker, all those silly childish girly things. I felt my teeth ache, sweat started pooling down my forehead. I'd just came form gym class, that could be part of it.

My _locker_. Good Lord, look at what she'd done to it. I couldn't picture Ashley doing the same thing--but Ashley was way different from Manny.

I listened to her childish plea. Ashley approached us, a grateful reprieve from this. She asked me to sign her petition and I did. Manny made some lame joke about the food tasting better and Ash and I exchanged a glance. I felt bad for what I was about to do. I nodded to Ash when she left, swallowing. My mouth really did feel like I had swallowed cotton.

"It's…it's not the locker." I counted to five in my head. "It's you, Manny."

I could still see her face. She stared, and the hurt was there. I never wanted to hurt her. I liked Manny. She was cute and funny and sweet, but there…something was off between us. She looked like she wanted to sink into the floor. I felt even worse, and I watched her walk off from me.

"Manny!" I called, but she shook her head and bolted from the hallways.

I sighed. "Way to go, Craig. Way to go."

I figured I had really ended it between us now.

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I didn't think about Manny much after that, not really. Things happened with my dad. He died on me, and I went kind of crazy. I was too busy falling in love with Ashley to notice Manny. But somehow, she'd grown up on me. She'd became a beautiful young girl with shimmering dark hair and copper tan skin. Her smile was cute, and it haunted me.

When Ash wanted me to tell her I loved her…I understood her reasoning. We were pretty close, almost like the same half of one person. I just…love was a big step. And I cared about her, but did I love her enough to say that?

Girls were weird. Marco had the best idea ever, sending Ash all those flowers. She still wasn't happy. With a sigh I watched her face curl as she read the card, sending me a look. I wondered to myself how Manny would've felt if I had sent her a dozen roses. I can bet she wouldn't be complaining to Paige about it.

And then, another idea hit. A song. If I couldn't tell Ashley that I loved her, maybe I could sing it to her. I told her to meet me in the gym, and I began.

_Something about the way you shine…_

_When lights go out…I wanna make you mine…_

It worked. Jubilated I was so glad we weren't going to break up, or take a break. She even invited me to stay over after Paige's birthday party. I was so excited. I was going to have sex with a woman I cared about.

So why was I always thinking about Manny? I watched her around school, in her sexy pink shorts and top sauntering around. I noticed that Manny was dating Sully which I thought stupid. He didn't care about her, it was obvious.

Towards the end of school and Paige's party, I kind of forgot about Manny for a while. Spin was being a jerk and blew a balloon up, nodding to me. I kind of jolted, especially when Ashley saw. She freaked out. We had a fight outside her house.

I stomped off, sick of all Ashley's rules. It was always rules, rules, rules. Why did love have to be like that?

"Craig--"

I wasn't in the mood for Manny, not right now. While I couldn't get her out of my mind, I didn't often like the way she looked at me--like I was some kind of hero, when I was just me.

"Not now, Manny." I just wanted to go home. Go home and forget this whole, awful day. I was feeling a headache come on. Manny prompted me again.

I whirled, angry and wanting to take my frusterations out on someone. She was here, why not? "I keep messing up. Again, and again and again--"

"I'm sure, I'm sure you didn't." Manny seemed to want to comfort me, but didn't know how. Hell, I didn't know what to do anymore. I felt my brow knit in confusion and the pain and anger of Ashley's outburst was getting to me again.

Somehow, we found ourselves in Joey's garage. Manny was all bright smiles and shimmering dark hair. I found myself entraced and pissed off. Why did she have to be here? She was telling me the garage looked like a music video.

Sure, ok. Then…she wanted me to sing the song I wrote for Ashley. I paused, jolted and wondered why she wanted to hear that song. It wasn't wrote for her. I had wrote it for someone I really liked.

But I played it. Her dark eyes, almond shaped and glittering smiled up at me. I watched as Manny's hands wrapped around the neck of my guitar and pulled it from me. My heart began to hammer. I heard her whisper it was Ok.

Sure, it was Ok.

It was ok that now Manny was underneath me. Her soft lips were on mine, and I was slowly taking off that bright pink thing she was wearing. I saw her coppery naked skin, felt how smooth it was.

This was all ok.

My first time was with a girl I barely knew. It wasn't the way I pictured it. She cried out, clutched me and looked like she was going to bust into tears any moment. I felt muscles stretch and tear at my entrance. Part of me wanted to stop, but it was too late.

And then, my grand explosion. The thing all guys talk about, want. It wasn't nothing like I thought--so much fire for a little passion…and it lacked. When it was over I sat on the couch, head in my hands. Manny was getting dressed.

"Was…" She paused and turned to her. I saw a flash of bare skin, then it vanished behind that pink thing she wore. "Was it what you thought?"

No, it wasn't what I thought. How could it be what I thought? I looked up at Manny and smiled. "It was…It was. You know."

She nodded and reached for her purse, digging into it. She let out a sigh. "I've got to get home. My parents will worry."

I nodded. "Want me to walk you home?"

She paused, dark eyes looking at me. "No--that's ok. I'll walk myself home. See you tomorrow at school."

I watched her walk out and fell backwards on the couch. Shit. What was I going to tell Ashley?

Or, was there a way I could pretend this never happened, that Manny never happened?


	3. Chapter 3

-1The next time I'd run into Manny, Ashley had left town. She was going to Montreal to comfort Ellie who was having a hard time with her mom. I guess I could understand. Teasingly, I held onto Ash. "No looking at Montreal boys." I joked.

She smiled, told me she had the best one and didn't need to look. Ellie arrived, saying she had packed too much. Ash offered to help her with it and I watched the best friends head off.

"Craig."

I heard the familiar voice and turned. Manny. "I missed you." She smiled at me, her dark hair in curls around her face.

"There's really nothing to miss, Manny." I insisted. "We only--we only hooked up once."

She gave me a long look and shook her head. "No strings. Just come ok?" Manny handed me a paper advertising a rave. I took it from her, watching as she walked away. When nobody was looking I discreetly slipped it into my pocket.

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Joey and Sydney were watching some lame movie on TV. It was Friday night and I was bored out of my mind. I'd already practiced the guitar so much my thumbs had new calluses on them.

"Craig."

"Yeah?" I looked over at Joey.

"If we're boring you, we can change the movie." This came from Sydney. I smiled weakly at them.

"Oh, no." A shrug. "This is fine. Really, fine."

"Uh, not that we don't mind having you here--but what are you doing here, Craig?" Asked Joey. "It's Friday night."

Duh, Joey. I knew it was Friday night. I shrugged. "Maybe…maybe I should go to Jimmy's?"

"If you want." Sydney agreed.

I thought about Manny's flyer, still hidden in my pocket. "I think I will. Get some fresh air. See you tomorrow." I rose, heading for the closet and grabbed a jacket. The night air was still warm, only slightly becoming cooler. Fall. I walked to the ravine, wondering what I was doing here.

What would I do if I saw Manny? Into the throng of dancing partying kids I found myself, twisting and moving.

I didn't know what I was doing.

Then, I saw her. Wearing some bell-sleeved shirt that showed off a good portion of her slim belly, skin tight jeans that made me wonder if she wore underwear at all. I noticed the thong resting on her hips. One question answered.

"You came!" All bright eyes and happy smiles, Manny positively glowed.

She was so beautiful in the dim party lights. I managed a nervous smile. "Uh--yeah."

"Wanna dance?" Manny was shouting, but so was I. The music was loud, so loud.

"Uh…" I paused, but her small body was against me. She was moving, and I had to admit I liked it. She felt so small and sweet and nice against me. Her arms entwined around my neck, pulling me so close. I inhaled the perfume she wore.

"I--I--have a girlfriend!" I reminded.

Manny paused and turned so now we were facing each other. "I can keep a secret!"

After that, I felt better. I let myself surrender to the noise and the lights. I found myself kissing Manny…

And I found myself liking it.

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On Emma Nelson's bed, I was with Manny once again. We were pressing up against each other, my hand snaking in between her thighs and pressing. She whimpered in my ear, her mouth hot on my skin.

I could taste every part of Manny. I wanted her this time. It would be better, maybe I could last longer--

Emma busted in on us. Her face was a mask of hurt, then anger. I didn't know who she was mad at as she started yelling that Manny had abandoned her for me. I had this look on my face, and so did Manny.

"Emma, I'm sorry--"

"Chris has a girlfriend!" Emma stormed. I breathed out glad she wasn't totally mad at me.

"I should--I should go." I said, sliding off the bed.

"Yeah I think you'd better!" Emma snapped at me. I looked at Manny once, then almost bolted for the window. I crawled out of it and practically ran back to Joey's. Once there, I drew in a deep breath and fell face down onto my bed. I could still taste Manny on my lips.

As I drifted off into sleep, I knew one thing. I wanted Manny Santos.


	4. Chapter 4

-1Winter break I had a secret. A delicious secret that had been building and building inside of me, ever since I ran home from Emma Nelson's house. I'm still not sure how it happened, me and Manny. I'm still not sure if I wasn't under some kind of spell, because that's what…what this felt like. A spell.

Maybe she was a witch who bedazzled me, how did I know? Things with Ash had hit a snag and she was cool to me one moment, lovey- dovey to me the next. I never knew quite where I fit in with Ashley.

With Manny, it was just the opposite. I could send her a text, or call her and she'd be there. She'd be waiting with open arms and a smile, a kiss to tell me I was perfect.

It never hit me that I might be using her.

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Manny called me when we were trimming the tree. The Nelson-Simpsons were there, baby Jack dressed in some little kind of elf costume. "Poor Kid." I said looking down at him. He smiled up at me and cooed.

"Aww, I think he looks cute." Ashley had snuck up behind me. "Like a little elf."

"Yeah, but when he's our age? He's gonna be like who dressed me up in _this_?"

There was a little cough from behind us. Spike stood there, waiting to pick Jack up. She smiled lightly at us. "I did. It's so I can later use the humiliation tactic when he's misbehaving." She gave a grin and walked over to the couch to feed him.

I laughed.

Meanwhile, Sydney the Natzi of Christmas was staring at the tree, transfixed. I noticed that Caitlin was there too, looking fidgety. She drank a lot of eggnog, too and it made me wonder if she wasn't half-drunk. I shrugged to myself and helped Joey re-arrange the stupid tree.

The phone rang. I swept it up, cheerfully. I'd had two glasses of eggnog myself, barely able to taste the brandy in it. When the adults weren't looking I poured more of the brandy in my glass and Ashley's, giving her a wink. She smiled back and sipped hers while I drank mine, trying to taste the brandy. Drinking felt so cool and adult.

I wasn't expecting Manny to call. At least, not today. "Jeremiah residence!" I sang out. I'd had a few gulps of my mostly brandy eggnog.

"I miss you." It was Manny, in that need me voice of hers. Need me, Craig that voice said. Why can't you love me like I love you? It was this part of Manny that drove me away. This part of Manny that made me want to hold her at arms' length.

"Uh…" I froze for a moment, unsure of what to do. Ash had abandoned her drink and was behind me, eating nuts. I swallowed. "We'll talk later, ok _Spinner_?" I put special emphasis on his name. Ash continued to nibble on the Christmas nuts.

"Is this a bad time?" Asked Manny.

I felt cross. Sometimes, it was always a bad time with Manny when she got like that.

"Uh…no. We'll talk about exchanging gifts tomorrow, Spin." I said.

"It's because she's there, isn't it?" Manny's voice, normally sweet and girly turned hard.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow Spinner. Bye!" I hung up on her before Manny could possibly wreck this night. Letting my breath out, I turned to Ash and smiled, kissing her cheek.

Inside, I felt like a tightly strung guitar. One pluck, and all my strings would come undone.

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Secret late night dates would get me home sometimes after curfew. Joey would rant and rave about responsibility, blah, blah, blah. I would nod and promise it wouldn't happen again. I still had Manny's hands on my chest, still had her taste in my mouth.

I fell into bed and pulled out my cell. Five missed calls from Ashley. I texted her and apologized for not returning the calls, something came up and I'd see her later. Winter break was nearing and I couldn't wait. I needed a break. Sometimes I felt like I had two lives.

One that existed entirely for me and Manny. It was this world where I was her perfect guy and she was this pretty, sweet girl who adored me.

And then, there was the world with Ashley. Our music fueled, coffee driven world of angsty rock tunes. Writing songs about leaving notes in our lockers, holding hands during the lunch hour, stolen kisses in the hallway.

If only I could somehow manage to push the two girls into one person. Then it would be perfect, beautiful…what I always wanted.

I yawned and decided to take a shower. I could still smell Manny everywhere on me. I tugged my shirt off, discarded it onto my already messy floor and plodded to the bathroom. Hot water felt good against my skin that was bruised by lips. There was small lip gloss stains on my neck, on my chest. Little bite marks that said Manny had been here.

I scrubbed them all off in the hot water.

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I wanted to grab Manny before she left for Holidays. I smiled at dragged her into an empty classroom, placing kisses on her mouth that tasted like vanilla. She smiled, seeming pleased. "I wanted to give this to you before you left." I held out the gold bag.

Manny took it. She opened it, finding the pink sweater. Her breath caught and she looked up at me. "It's perfect." She whispered.

I grinned, pleased. "There's something else, too." I nodded towards the bag.

She fished it out finding the gold charm bracelet with little ice skates. Manny beamed. "Craig, you so get me."

"Is that good?"

"Yes, it means you really do care about me after all."

I smiled, glad that she liked her gifts. "OK. Have fun at vacation." I pulled Manny to me and kissed her. She smiled letting me do so, letting me do what I wanted to her. Ashley would have a thousand reasons to stop. She was never any fun.

"OK. Go to class." I said with a soft smile.

"Bye." Manny and I met eyes, holding onto each other when the bell rang. All in all, it was turning into a damned good day.

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Until the talent show. I knew nothing good would last long. It never did for me. Ash and I were supposed to sing a song together. We'd written our own Christmas carol and were going to sing it in front of the whole school.

I didn't know she had talked to Manny beforehand. Ash was being distant--again. Her arms crossed over her chest and she stared down at the floor like Pete Wentz was imprinted on it. I smiled at her, and rubbed her arm. "We're next."

Still Ashley said nothing.

Frowning a little, JT Yorke called us to the stage. I took my seat, Ashley took hers. I picked up the guitar she had given me for Christmas. That wonderful guitar that knew just what chords I wanted to play, what notes I needed to pluck. It was an amazing gift.

Manny had got me something too, a scarf that she'd knitted herself and I wore. I just couldn't throw it away.

In the middle of the song, my world came crashing down. When I prompted Ashley to sing, she got up and slapped me hard against the face. I heard the audience's stunned gasp and Ashley took off running.

I got up to follow after her.

She knew, she knew, she knew. It pounded in my head to the rhythm my feet were running. I felt my breath catch, and it threatened to choke me. I watched as she broke down crying, hating me and yanking the guitar back. Even so, I never meant to hurt Ashley as I reached out to comfort her.

"Don't touch me!" Ashley screamed at me. "Manny Santos, how could you!" She never let me explain. She never let me explain that Manny looked at me like a hero, like I was…

Like I was something I wasn't. I felt so bad, so horrible and wanted to sink into the floor as I watched Ashley storm out of the school. I didn't have to turn to know Manny was behind me. My thorn.

"You told--you told Ashley." I accused hotly. She claimed to love me. How could she do this to me?

"No." Manny's voice was soft and whispery. "But you were stupid to think that I wouldn't find out about all your lies."

Why did the world have to crash on your head all at once? It wasn't fair. I watched Manny, wondering what she was going to do. She held the charm bracelet up and then let it fall.

I watched the shimmering skates hit my dirty Chucks. It hurt so bad, Manny doing that to me. I kind of expected her to comfort me, lie to me. I wanted her to lie to me. I wanted…

"Craig?"

Joey. _Shit_. Wiping my face I grabbed Manny's charm bracelet and shoved it into my pocket. It was on his face, feeling sad and sorry for me when I babbled out that I was nothing but a stupid cheater. Joey listened and then told me something that I didn't know before.

He and Caitlin had been engaged. And he'd done the same thing to Caitlin that I'd done to Ashley.

I swallowed and we both stood there, fools of our own making.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ash and I were on the rocks and Manny hated me. My life was just perfect. I was newly single and I didn't know how well I liked the whole single bit. I decided not to concentrate on girls so much and concentrate more on music. Music was the thing that would save me. **

**I poured over records. Joey had a nice collection of bands from the 80's. Their covers were weird, with the big hair and spandex cat suits. I borrowed them, played his cassettes and records and tried to play along on my guitar. I thought I could maybe do this professionally one day. Music became my saving grace. **

**I was still taking pictures for the yearbook. That old passion welled inside me. When Ms. Hatzalakos asked me to take picture for the Girls' Gymnastic team I kind of wanted it to go to someone else. Manny was on the gymnastics' team. I knew she was fabulous, doing all those jumps and tucks and whatever else it was called. **

"**Thanks, Craig." Ms. Hatzalakos said with a bright smile. "Your photos always turn out the best. I'm sure they'll look great in the yearbook."**

**I nodded, set up my equipment. I had thought about Ashley and Manny so much when I wasn't hanging out with Spinner or Marco that my head swam with unpleasant thoughts. Ms. H told Manny to go get her photo. I swallowed once, my mouth full of dry cotton. **

"**Don't you want to smile?" I asked as I peered into the lens, making sure everything was set just so. **

**Manny's dark eyes fastened on me and I felt my guilt. She couldn't still be mad over Winter Break. It was so long ago and--**

"**Looking at you doesn't really make me feel like smiling." Manny said. I felt like a jackass, and wanted to go up in smoke. She gave me another sharp look, one that said **_**take the picture.**_

**So I did. **

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**The gymnastics meet had a good turnout. I was there too as I was the photographer. Degrassi was blowing the competition away. I watched, amazed at the girls in their tight uni-tards or whatever they're called flipping and twisting and turning. It looked like fun, no wonder Angie loved it so much. **

**All eyes were on Manny as she started her routine. I knew she was good, she was a lot more agile than most of these girls. I got the camera out and focused it on Manny. I watched as her dark look darted around the gym. She focused on her Mom, giving her a wave then her eyes drifted to me and she looked kind of sick. **

**I mean, I felt bad enough--did she have to always make me feel so damned guilty? It was bad enough Ashley hated me. I didn't want Manny to dwell on this forever. When would it be ok to lift my head in public again?**

**Suddenly, Manny fell. Ms. H ran over to her, asking if she was ok. I started towards where she fell but she bolted for the doors. Camera around my neck I followed her. **

"**Are…you…ok?"**

"**No."**

**Just that, nothing behind it. One simple answer and my heart was pounding in my ears. I could feel my blood moving, and I felt sick. I wanted to faint too. **

"**It's not that horrible." I tried to assure Manny. I hoped to God this was over the gymnastics meet. Please, something had to go right for me once in my life. Just once God, that's all I ask.**

**I watched Manny pace in her blue and gold outfit, her hair pulled in a bun from her face. She looked like she was lost in thought and then, as I watched her back she spoke in a funny voice. "When we…" There was a long pause. It was so full of meaning, so…so…broken. "Did you use a condom?"**

**Condom. Did you use a condom…Did you…did you use a condom…**

**Why was she thinking that? My mind started to go crazy. There was that little word in the back of my mouth. A bitter taste rose in my mouth. "WHAT?" I exploded, unable to help it. Confusion was making me react this way. **

"**I'm sorry, I just…" **

"**Um, Manny. I thought you said it was--it was--ok." I was broken, almost wanting to laugh at how surreal this was. This wasn't true. It wasn't happening to me. I wanted to hide away in my brain and feel nice and safe. I wanted to touch the strings of my guitar, make beautiful music to push away this ugly episode. "I thought that meant you were…on the pill." **

**Manny was smiling at me. Her voice however spoke volumes. "It was my first time. It meant that it was ok…." She was so soft, so whispery. **

**The laughter was welling up again. No, condom. No pill. No, no, no. I felt panic grip me. I couldn't breath and the laughter was just up and coming. This was the most idiotic thing Manny had ever asked me out of all the idiotic things she'd asked. Had she asked me idiotic things? Stupid thoughts filtered my head and I felt like--I felt like-- "Well which is it?…Nothing's wrong, or nothing can be wrong." I laughed once. She was perfectly fine. "Because you're not making sense!"**

**I watched her closely. As I was starting to go crazy Manny smiled. It made me want to laugh again. This girl comes up and asks me about condoms and I think about birth control and how fucking funny this all really is. Through her tight smile Manny eyed me. She still spoke in that soft, whispery voice. "No. Nothing's wrong. It's ok."**

**I felt relief. I eyed Manny, then nodded once. "Well…Ok. See you." I turned and raced back to the rest of the match. My lungs burned when I took my seat. **

**Everything was fine. It had to be fine. I stifled a laugh and uncapped my camera lens to take a picture.**

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**My cell phone was going crazy. Annoyed, I looked down. Spinner was being stupid as usual and that was…well it was better than what I was thinking. I yanked it up and saw it was another call from Manny Santos. **

**Good God, that girl. She never quit. I hit DENY and put the phone back into my pocket. **

"**What's all that about?" Spinner asked. "Is she wanting some more of the lovin' from Lord Stud?"**

"**I don't know. It's nothing. Shut up!" My nerves were frayed and Spinner never helped. I told him I'd see him later and went for a walk. **

**At school, I saw Manny near the bike rack. She was sitting there and I hesitated, then walked over to her. " I got your message. Sorry I'm late."**

**Naturally, she didn't speak to me. I eyed her a moment and sighed. "I can't stay long. I've got this bio lab…"**

**Turning around ever so slowly Manny met my eyes. Hers were scared. "Something happened…" I watched her get up and walk over to a bench. She took a seat on it so I followed. **

**This was getting on my nerves. If something happened, why wouldn't she tell me? Why? "What? What's wrong?"**

**Manny looked up at me. I just wanted this all over and deep down inside I knew what she was going to tell me. It was written in her expressive coffee eyes and I felt so sick. I felt like I was going to throw up. **

**"I have a doctor's appointment to make sure. But I took this test... And.." I watched Manny's face as she got upset, her eyes crinkling up. "And I'm pretty sure I'm pregnant." **

**Thunderstruck. That's the only way I can describe it. Thunder-fucking-struck. I sat down next to Manny. Pregnant…no condom, no birth control. Yep. That equaled pregnant. A baby. A baby! God…she wasn't even sixteen, couldn't drive and neither could I…a baby?**

**Manny was about to cry on me, her voice so full of tears. "Oh God, I know you're mad and I'm so sorry…" She trailed off and was crying. **

**A baby…that would tie us together. I would finally have the family I'd always wanted. Sure, it was a fucked way of looking at the family idea but…but it would be there. Joey wasn't going to be happy. I knew how to handle him though. **

**Manny and I would be a mom and dad. We'd raise our baby and he or she would grow up in love and happiness. He or she would have what neither one of us did. **

**I smiled. "It's…OK. I started to think about it. You know, what you said yesterday?" The condom and pill, I thought. I had to shake my head hard to keep from laughing or anything weird. "And…what if we had it?" I felt myself smile, lips stretching. "We could be a little family, all our own, Manny."**

**I beamed at her. I could see it now. Manny would be a great mother and I'd be the best father ever. This would be the best thing ever. I could barely contain myself. I never noticed Manny's stunned look as I sat there, planning the future with our child.**


	6. Chapter 6

-1OOC: I think I messed up some of the scenes, my bad. But it doesn't really matter all that much since it's fan fic.

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The next day at school, things were perfect. Me, Manny and our soon to be baby. Despite Ashley telling everyone at school about it I was happy. I avoided Ashley and hadn't spoken to her since Manny told me.

"So what do you think it'll be?" I asked, with thoughts of a son or daughter swimming in my mind. A baby. It was so weird…but so perfect, sort of. I wanted this so bad I could taste it. I was just thinking about the positive and none of the negative.

"I don't know." Said Manny. Whenever I started talking about the baby she'd look pinched and uncomfortable. I didn't like that look.

"I hope it's a girl." I said. "Angie's always wanted a sister."

This made her smile. "I think she'd be the baby's aunt."

Suddenly, I collided into something hard. Looking up, I saw it was Ellie. She glared at me through her dark rimmed eyes. I could feel hate roll out of her. "Watch out!" She screamed at me.

I raised a brow, apologized and moved on with Manny. I walked her to her class, handing her the books she'd need. "Have fun in Science." I said and we kissed.

When I saw Manny next, I brought a carton of milk and plunked it by her. "Here."

"I already had one of those."

"So have another."

Manny gives me a strange look but opens it. I smiled at her. "Look." I said and pulled the book out. _So you need a name. _A baby-name book. "Pick a name…don't' look."

I watched Manny's finger as it trailed down the pages and she opened her eyes, shaking her head. "No. Anyone named Maude will pick their nose and eat glue." There was amusement in her eyes when she said this, though.

I started to speak, but a shadow fell over us. My eyes looked upward and I caught Ashley's angry glare. I swallowed.

"So you need a name?" Ashley was gazing at both of us. Her looks was contempt. I glanced at Manny who was panicked. Shit, shit, what was she going to do?

"Hey!" She suddenly yelled. "Hey, everyone. These two have an announcement to make."

My heart stopped, my breath caught. I couldn't believe Ashley was so vindictive, so evil. I could almost hear Manny's heart pound next to me.

"What? Aww they're too modest. So I'll help spread the joy. These two idiots are pregnant."

I lifted my hand to my mouth, shocked. How…could…she?

"That's right, because it's way too difficult to use a condom." Ash smirked.

I heard the small intake of breath from Manny. She got up and ran from the cafeteria. Through the corner of my eyes, I saw Emma run after her.

"I can't believe you slept with her." Ashley glared her hate at me, turned and stalked off.

I sat there in stunned silence.

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We were at the Nelson-Simpson household. Emma was letting us play with baby Jack. I smiled at Manny, at Emma. "He's so gorgeous." Craig comments with a soft smile.

"Hey?"

"Yeah." Manny agrees grinning. "He's an angel."

Manny and Emma were looking at a book about pregnancy, she showing her what our baby looked like. I looked up at the woman on the cover, her belly _huge. _"I can't believe you're going to get that big."

Manny didn't look too thrilled. She started to tell us about how supportive Spike was, compared to her own parents. She hadn't told them yet.

Damn. I hadn't even told Joey. He was going to kill me.

Suddenly, Jack started crying. I backed up. Emma let out a little unhappy noise, obviously stressed. "Now we'll never get him back to sleep!" She went over to pick him up.

"Come on, a baby is like a piece of cake." I insisted.

Emma glanced at me. "Why don't _you _take care of that little piece of cake then." She challenged. She pushed the baby bottle into my hand as the doorbell rang and walked off to answer it.

I stared down at Jack, the bottle. What the heck was I supposed to do with it?

Jack's screams grew louder. I was starting to get frustrated as Manny and I tried to calm him down. "Maybe his diaper needs changing!" I suggested. "You do it."

"What? You want to be a dad, too."

"But moms change the diaper. It's their jobs." I insisted.

"You help me." Manny declared. She picked baby Jack up. She lay him down on the table, but it was hard. He wouldn't hold still and was wiggly. "You have to wipe it, Craig!"

"But…it's…green!" I protested as she unveiled the diaper. It looked toxic, and no way did I want to touch _that!_

"Manny!" I exclaimed as she turned suddenly, dirty diaper in hand. She bumped into me hard and I let out a shout.

Ew. Baby poo. On my shirt….

"Clean him up!" I exclaimed, running to the sink. I found something to scrub my shirt with and frantically scrubbed the green stain off. Ew, ew, ew. I was so going to have to take a million showers because of this!

"So how'd it go?" Emma asked, returning. She asked us this in her know-it-all voice that irked me sometimes. Emma was like my little cousin, but even at times she got under my skin.

"It went…_great_." I enthused. I had a bright, pasted on smile for added effect.

Manny barely smiled. She held Jack up and the diaper slipped off.

Yeah. Perfect.

"Let me show you again." Emma took Jack from Manny. Manny avoided looking at me and I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I didn't like how Manny wouldn't even look at me. It wouldn't sit with me. I thought about it all day, all night.

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I must've called Manny like seven times. Each time, nobody answered. This was getting ridiculous. I thought about telling Joey and panicked. Not yet. Not until Manny's parents knew and were…supportive. They had to be. There wasn't anything else that she could really do, right?

Finally, I approached her at school. I couldn't find her earlier and there are only so many places in Degrassi that you could hide in.

"There she is!" For some reason, she wouldn't let me hug her. I gazed at Manny, trying to size her up.

"Don't, Craig."

"What's the matter?" I felt some funny tight feeling invade me. What was she going to do? Why was she acting…so weird. She was being so weird. I didn't like it.

"I can't do this.. I thought I could.. but I can't."

I just stared at her. Just stared, struggling to breath. It was almost like when she told me she was pregnant. "You're…you're not making any sense, Manny."

Manny gives me this pleading look. It was full of remorse and I knew deep down inside why she was giving me this look. I knew, I knew and it was so damned unfair and…

"Someday, you'll make a great dad. And hopefully someday, I'll be a mom, but now.. now isn't someday yet." Manny said. She started away from me. I lunged for her.

"NO! No you're not! Manny stop. No I won't let you!" I exclaimed. She couldn't do this, she couldn't do this, she couldn't.

"No!" Manny exclaimed. She was struggling to get away from me.

"Craig!" I turned to see Emma.

"Emma, you butt out!" I shouted. "What she's doing is wrong!" I was breaking. I was breaking, my dream going up in flames.

"I agree with you okay? If she was just some stranger I'd be FURIOUS with her. But she's not! She's my friend.. and it's her choice!" I stared at Emma. She should be on my side. Little Ms. Save the World, Little Ms. Greenpeace was siding with Manny all because they were friends!

"But it's MY baby!" I exploded.

"And it's Manny's body! What about her?"

We both turned to look at Manny, who was sobbing now. Tears slid down her face. "I'm just so sorry.."

I swallowed. She couldn't do this to me, not to us. "Emma, go away." I didn't want Emma's influence on Manny.

"Craig--"

"Go away!" I shouted at her. "I'm not going to hurt Manny, I just want to talk to her. I promise, Ok?"

Emma eyed us both. "Please, Emma." Manny whispered.

Emma started towards the double doors. We both watched her walk out of them.

"Manny--you can't do this. Please. You're killing a baby. A baby from us." I protested, pulling her to me. "Think it over, please."

"But my mom…I told her, that I couldn't--"

"We will talk to your mom ok?" I asked. I rocked her to me. "Please, don't do this."

Manny clung to me, sobbing. I sighed, glad that this crisis seemed to have passed for now.


	7. Chapter 7

-1So there I was. With Manny who was going to keep my baby. It was surreal in a way. I was sure that I wanted this--I _needed_ this. But Manny, she never looked too sure. When she started to show she was so embarrassed. She took to wearing some of my old shirts and they stretched over her protruding stomach.

Joey had finally accepted it. He would give me lectures, make me baby-sit Angie more. "This is what you wanted, remember?" he would say when I complained. I never got to go to band practice. Ashley took over my position as lead singer, and Spinner incessantly complained.

"She wants to take over the band, man. Now we're doing shitty emo-girl rock music. Stuff that Ellie likes."

"So what?" I grouched. "Leave me alone, Spinner." I was so tired, so tired all of the time. I'd stay up late, worrying about Manny and the baby. She cried all the time because her father had booted her out of the house. He told her she was dead to him. Her mother snuck over sometimes, pressed money into Manny's hands and spoke to her in Filipino or whatever language was her Native tongue.

All the time Manny grew big, so big. At night sometimes I'd touch her belly and she'd smile a little. I could feel that baby of ours. It made all this more real. It was scary real and sometimes I felt so choked up I couldn't breath. In class I wasn't paying attention. I was zoned out or sleeping. Sometimes I felt like just screaming.

One night, Manny offered to watch Angie. She let me go to band practice in the garage and I was so grateful. Ashley took over keyboards, her smoky blue eyes giving me some kind of signal I couldn't interpret. I was so tired I didn't know if I even wanted to.

I kept saying I was tired, but I never slept. I was too restless. I had so much energy. One day I blew up at Simpson in class. He was trying to keep me and Ash from discussing our music, the one thing that kept me sane. I told him it was independent study hour, and he could study my butt. So I went to visit Jimmy. I lamented my teenage bullshit on him. Manny, the baby, strange vibes from Ashley. I never once asked him about his legs.

Manny would go to cheer practice and sit on the sidelines. She and Paige had some sort of rivalry going on. They were good friends and they were good enemies. I never knew what they were. Sometimes even Ashley talked to Manny, and that was weird. I guess Ash was finally over the whole cheating on her during Christmas break.

And then one day, towards Spring it happened. I'd been doing laps in gym. Running was the one thing that made my brain clear up. Everything felt so fogged and unreal. Manny. The baby. The band. Joey. Ashley. These words pounded in my mind as I ran lap after lap, until sweat trickled down my body.

"Craig!" It was Emma, running to me all breathless. "It's Manny--Manny's water just broke. They're taking her to the ER!"

Good God. I stopped running, sucked in a mouthful of air. "Where--where is she, Em?" This wasn't happening to me, Craig Manning. No way. Not at all.

Emma yanked me with her. We was running outside of the school where Manny was being loaded on a stretcher. Her tanned face looked pale and her big brown eyes fastened on mine. "Craig. I'm so--so scared!"

"It's ok, Manny." I stepped up to the stretcher. She clasped my hand. "I'm here now." I tried to sound as reassuring as I felt, give her some sort of comfort. Manny deserved that, if nothing else. She somehow managed a smile through her grimaces of pain.

"Emma." Manny turned to her friend. They'd been on the rocks. Fighting about her personality change, me, everything else. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. You're my best friend and I never--" She gasped. "Never meant to call you a--" Another gasp.

Emma squeezed Manny's other hand and then was pushed back as the ambulance loaded her in. "It's ok, Manny. You'll always be my best friend. Just get through this, ok?"

"Hey, hold up son. You can't go in there--" An ambulance worker protested.

"Yes I can." I insisted. "She's my girlfriend and she's going to have my baby." My eyes dared them to do anything about it. The worker nodded and let me in. The ambulance doors closed, sirens went off. I searched for Emma's face. She waved at us, and got her cell phone out to call Spike.

I rode to the ER with Manny, who was about to make our lives a lot more complicated.

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It took hours. Something that happened to millions of women every day took all day and some of the evening. But finally, around ten o clock our daughter was born. My hand ached from Manny gripping it and my emotions were shot. It had been a long, draining day.

Right now, Manny was asleep. In my arms I held our newborn daughter. She was such a tiny little thing. I was finding myself entranced by her. It brought back memories of when Angie had been a baby and Mom would let me hold her.

I could spend hours just staring at Angie in kind of an awe-ness and I did the same thing to my daughter. Her fingers flexed, and I used my index finger to touch hers. Her mouth opened, then closed.

"Come on, open your eyes." I urged. I wanted to see her. The nurse told me that her eyes were blue now, but they might change colors when they got older. I wondered what color her eyes would be. I wondered who she would favor more--me or Manny.

"Ugh, what time is it?" Manny's voice came from the bed and she drew my attentions away from our baby.

"It's one o clock in the morning." I told her. "How are you feeling?"

"Like Paige decided to make Spirit Squad Boot Camp." Manny replied. She ran a hand over her face. "Did my mom come?" She asked in a hopeful voice.

I had called Manny's mother. She said she wouldn't be able to come tonight, but would be there first thing tomorrow. "Not yet. She send her love. She'll be here tomorrow morning, bright and early." I said. I was trying to make it nice for Manny.

"Do you want to hold Maude, Manny?" I asked. "She's so beautiful."

Manny sat up. "Did Emma and Spike and Mr. Simpson stop by?"

"Yes. They will all be here tomorrow morning as well." I said. "Don't you want to hold her?"

"I'm so tired." Manny seemed to ignore my question. "I just want to sleep, and sleep."

"Well, you've been through a lot." I offered. I scooted closer to the bed, our baby still in my arms. "Look at her, Manny. She's so cute."

Manny closed her eyes. She flopped back against the pillow. I didn't like the disinterested way she was being. This was her daughter!

"I like the name Maude." I began. "I looked it up online. It's a form of Matilda. Joey told me there was an old TV show in the 70's." I added, giving Manny a smile. "What do you think of Matilda Manning?"

"I wish my mom was here." Manny opened her eyes once. She didn't seem to hear what I was saying. "Craig, call my mom and ask her to please come." Her lower lip shook a little.

"Ok." I rose. "Here, hold Matilda." I was trying out different baby names. I didn't know which one sounded best.

Manny turned on her side that didn't face me. She closed her eyes.

"Manny?" I asked. "Don't you want to hold your daughter?" I watched the low rise of her body as she drifted back off into sleep.

In my arms, my nameless daughter stirred wanting to be fed. With a sigh I went to find the Night Nurse to get a bottle.


	8. Chapter 8

-1A few days later, Manny and I were ready to go home. Home to Joey's with our new little bundle. We still hadn't decided on a name yet and the hospital told us we had thirty days. We left there, a baby who had no name.

At Joey's it was different. Joey was happy, wanted to hold her. I honestly thought that he liked the idea of having a baby around. He'd bought so much for us--diapers, bottles, formulas. I wish Manny would show some interest, but alls he wanted to do was sleep.

"I wanna rock her!" Angie said as I was washing the baby. She could flex her fingers around mine now, make her mouth go into O's and coo. I was reading baby books, studying how to watch her develop. Right now, I ran a fluffy towel over her tiny body.

"Ok. Go get in the chair." I told Angie. My little half sister ran to the chair, showing more interest in the baby than it's mother. I placed my daughter in Angie's arms.

"What are you going to name her?" Angie asked as she gazed down. "I think you should name her after Mom."

I looked at Angie, surprised. Why hadn't that idea occurred to me? "Huh." I said. "Julia Manning." It did have a nice ring to it. "You know, that's not a bad idea."

"Do you think Manny will agree?"

"I think she will." I flashed Angie a small smile. "In fact, I'm going to go ask her. If the baby falls asleep, stay in the chair. I'll be right back."

I headed towards my room which had oddly became mine and Manny's room. She was laying in the bed, talking on the phone. Only this time, she was laughing.

I took that as a good sign. She looked up, smiled when she saw me come in. "Sorry, it's Emma." A pause. "Em, can I call you back? Ok. Ok. Talk to you later." Manny flipped her phone off.

"Hi." I walked inside.

"Hi yourself." Manny tucked a strand of chocolate hair behind her ear. She looked better, not so pale, not so lifeless.

"I finally found a name." I told Manny. "For our baby?" I sat down on the edge of the bed. Manny picked up a notebook and started to flip through it.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Well, actually Ange thought of it. But I think it's beautiful. Julia."

Manny glanced over at me, setting the notebook back on her lap. "Isn't that your mother's name?"

I nodded. Please let her like it, let it not be too old fashioned for her. Please.

Manny seemed to mull the name over in her mind. "Julia…ok. So that's her name."

I smiled, leaned over and hugged Manny. I felt so full of life, so full of love. "I love you, Manny."

And oddly, this time I didn't get the answer back that I normally always got. She just smiled at me.

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So we named our daughter Julia Maude Manning. She took over our lives so completely. Well, mine really. Manny was being odd. She never seemed to want to hold Julia, unless I forced her. She never offered to change her, to feed her. She just went to school and came back to Joey's, a far off look in her eyes.

Joey asked me how Manny was doing. I guess maybe he'd noticed the change in her. "I want to talk to you, Craig." I was doing some homework while Julia napped. "Manny's been over to Emma's and Spike just spoke to me. She thinks there's something wrong with Manny."

I looked up. "Wrong?" Great, what more did we need now? "Is she sick?"

Joey sat down on the couch next to me. "Well…not exactly. She's sick, but…it's more emotionally sick than physically sick. Do you understand?"

I frowned. I shook my head and scribbled out an answer, re-wrote it and scribbled that one out. Maths was starting to bleed together in my mind. I never understood what Triangles had to do with real life. I was going to be a musician, I didn't need this junk.

"Spike thinks Manny has a disease called Baby Blues." Joey added in his soft something-is-wrong voice.

"Baby blues?" I glanced up from my book. "What's that?"

"It's a mild depression that some women get after giving birth." Joey said. "And Manny fits all the descriptions; she cries easily, she doesn't have much to do with the baby."

I thought Manny was just being…selfish. I sat up, listening. "So she has depression? Yeah, that's a disease. Welcome to my life. I'm the one taking care of Julia. I feed her, wash her, play with her while Manny comes and goes!"

"I know you do, Craig. I know it must be frustrating." Joey continued. "But look, Spike took Manny to the doctor. Here." Joey fished out some pamphlets. "Read these over, it might help you understand better."

After Joey left me, I did just that. I shook my head, refusing to believe that Manny had this "disease" at first. I thought she was just upset, mad because I wouldn't let her get an…now that Julia was here, a live thing not too far from me, I couldn't say the word. I couldn't even think it. I didn't want to.

The pamphlet told me things like; _Many mothers feel very emotional and upset when they have the blues and they cry for no particular reason. They may find that it is impossible to cheer up. Some mothers feel very anxious and tense. Minor problems may cause mothers with the blues to worry a great deal._

_Some mothers have pains for which there is no medical cause or they may feel unwell but without any particular symptoms. Most mothers who have the blues feel very tired and lethargic most of the time. Frequently mothers who have the blues have difficulty sleeping. _

This…did explain Manny's attitude. She cried a lot, was never happy--most of the time. Even when she laughed, I noticed how it seemed false cheer, false laughter. Not her usual bubbly-girl laugh.

Shit. Now what was I supposed to do? Did this mean I had to take care of Julia all the time? Not that I minded--I loved my little daughter, but I just felt Manny should help too.

Things continued more or less the same. I tried to be understanding, I really did. But when Manny felt she could go to cheer practice, come home all smiles and sweaty from being althetic, I blew up one night.

"Where have you been?" I demanded as Manny waltzed in. She sat her bag down and turned to look at me.

"Uh, hello? Cheer finals coming up at the end of the month."

"Uh, hello? You have a baby at home that needs you."

I saw her wince, and had to resist the urge to slap Manny. I didn't like that feeling, it made me feel like my dad. _Is this how it felt Dad, when you were hitting me for coming home late? Did you get so boiling mad you didn't know what to do but strike out at me in anger and--_

"Spinner says hi." Manny was eyeing me. She was giving me that same look Ashley had in Media Immersions when I'd blown up at Simpson. It grated on my nerves.

I turned. "Spinner? What…" I didn't understand.

"He drove me home." Manny said. "We were both waiting around for Paige to get done being diva-licious, but you know her." She laughed once, peered into the baby's crib without picking her up and turned to me. "He's actually really funny. We grabbed something to eat on the way here."

"So you went out to eat with Spinner while me and you're daughter were at home, waiting?"

"I didn't think it was a big deal." Manny shrugged. She sat her bag on the table and rifled through it, finding lip gloss.

I could feel something I didn't like boil up inside of me. Red hot anger, like the time when my dad had slapped me outside that fancy bistro because I knew he wouldn't change. I felt like that again, so out of control and so angry. And here was Manny, acting like everything was fine…everything was just fine when it _wasn't!_

"Not a big deal!" I shouted, and was glad Joey and Angie were at her ballet class. "Not a big deal! Sure it's not a big deal when I'm the only one here who does anything! I go to school, take care of the baby, get no sleep while you go and have dinner with Spinner!" I screamed.

Manny looked taken aback, lip gloss held in her fingers. I could see the tube shake.

"YES it IS a big deal!" I shouted. "I'm sick of doing everything and you going la-di-da it's fine because Craig's here, he doesn't care! Well, Manny--!"

Before I could stop myself, before I could even think about it, I had Manny pinned against the back wall. The lip gloss dropped, bounced off my high tops and rolled. She let out a yelp and stared at me in fear.

The fear on her face made me even more angry. It was like she was making me be my dad and I wasn't even doing anything! I felt foggy again, cloudy. Something was wrong…nothing was right…

"Take care of your daughter." I tried to control my emotions, flinging Manny to the side. From the corners of my eye, I saw her hit the chair and fall to the ground. She sniffled, and she was scared. Her feelings were large and loomed over the entire living room in a big ugly, red cloud.

"Wh-Wh-Where are you going, Craig?" Her voice, soft and stuttery cut to me.

"Out." And with that one word I grabbed my jean jacket, slipped it on and slammed the front door. I could hear Julia crying as I left, but I just needed to get out. I needed to get away.


End file.
